Influence Others

Exercising influence over others is a subtle skill. Usually, you’re trying to persuade someone as to the merits of something when there may be no right or wrong answer.

There are three broad styles of influence. Most people tend to use one much more than any other. There is no style that is ‘best’ at all times. Quite simply, if one doesn’t work, you should try another.

Read the three types below and ask yourself:

• Which style do you use most often?
• When you are next trying to influence someone, would adopting a different style help you get what you want?

Convince others

Is this you?

• I enjoy using facts and figures to back up my arguments.
• Typically, I find it easy to criticize the suggestions of other people.
• I usually focus on pros and cons, costs and benefits.

Convincers tend to focus on logic and reason. They think through the merits and disadvantages of an argument. And it’s a particularly good style when you are trying to present an argument with tangible goals and outcomes.

Cajole others

Is this you?

• I try to listen to people’s concerns before putting forward my ideas.
• I show my appreciation for other people by praising their good achievements.
• I try to put myself into other people’s shoes to find out what makes them tick.

Cajolers focus on making others feel valued. They focus on the needs of other individuals rather than the needs of the task at hand itself.

Cajoling can be a good style of persuasion when the logic behind your argument isn’t cut and dried enough or convincing to work.

Command others

Is this you?

• I sometimes tell people to do things and then explain it to them later on.
• At times, I rely on my position or authority to get things done.
• I tend to point out the mistakes in what other people are doing.

Commanders tend to tell people what to do. They set goals for others and expect them to complete their assigned tasks.

This style is especially appropriate when there’s an emergency or when time is short. After all, a fireman trying to evacuate a burning building shouldn’t have to waste time convincing or cajoling people to leave the building!

In fact, there is nothing ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about any of the three styles. Try to modify your style to adapt to different people and different situations.