See Yourself As Others See You

One particular constraint that can hold you back is the way that other people see you. For instance, you may see yourself as an ambitious and confident person – but others may see you as ruthless and arrogant! Or you may think of yourself as honest and caring – again, others could view you as tactless and smothering.

People’s perceptions are rarely the same as your own perceptions of yourself.

There are many reasons other people may have these rather odd perceptions about us. They could, for instance, simply misunderstand the reasons you behave the way you do. Or maybe they just made up their minds about you long ago based on a first impression that isn’t the real you.

Whatever the reasons though, perceptions are a double-edged sword. So it’s important for you to understand how other people’s perceptions might hold you back from getting what you want.

Look at the following list of adjectives. Choose the ones in the left-hand column that you think describe you. Then read the adjective in the right-hand column and try to think whether there might be any circumstances in which other people might think of you in that less positive light.

• Ambitious = Ruthless
• Confident = Arrogant
• Assertive = Bullying
• Extroverted = Loud
• Tough = Uncaring
• Independent = Isolated

If none of those adjectives seem to describe you, have a look at the next set:

• Practical = Unimaginative
• Cautious = Indecisive
• Spontaneous = Disorganized
• Thorough = Obsessive
• Tolerant = Uncaring
• Realistic = Pessimistic

Or maybe try the last list:

• Honest = Tactless
• Fun = Frivolous
• Caring = Meddlesome
• Trusting = Gullible
• Supportive = Submissive
• Honorable = Moralistic
• Loyal = Servile

What adjectives would you use to describe yourself? Try to think for yourself about the flip-side of how others might perceive you.

In trying to achieve your career goals, make sure you don’t fall into the trap of having others
misinterpret your actions or misjudge you.